15 October 2009 (continued)

The wind has died down. Stars tonight. I’d like to stand on the small deck off the stateroom but the door has been screwed shut.

There will be much work to do.

A swell on the ocean. Pieter’s sweatshirts on their hangers rock gently with the boat. Me I’m a bit hungry.

Xander, Pieter, a couple other guys played. Walking toward the Adak, the greedy darkness of Alaska in October thick over us, Xander yelled, “That boat is Man Country!”

When Xander first separated from his wife he spent time on the Adak. He eventually bought a boat of his own, a fiberglass cruiser tied up four or five slips down from the Adak.

When Pieter went up to Girdwood, Xander keeps an eye on things, priming the engine, checking to make sure she’s still afloat.

I have a distinct yearning for B- . She announced tonight she will be gone for six days to visit friends. To Trinidad and Tobago. Well well.

I need sleep before I get too hungry. Life good, simple here. And yet there is a sadness to things I don’t remember so well and don’t quite understand. Not sure why we need this trial by fire, the idea of jumping right back into a heavy project nuts – and yet the pull there, without a doubt. To raise children in a place that makes sense, with a woman I love.

Follow your bliss. Trust in what is difficult.